Right now (as has been the case often lately) my mind is a mess of disorganized random thoughts. Pardon while I dump. This probably won't be the last time, either.
I know that I am bound.
Why can't I be free from these chains I have found.
I don't know what they really are, but only that they are there.
...
I'm constantly wandering, wondering.
Aimlessly, pointlessly.
Lamenting that which I don't understand.
Treasuring that which I do.
...
There's an answer within my reach.
It's there, but I can't see.
I'm grasping at thin air.
It taunts me, tormenting me with every unsuccessful strain I make to grasp it.
...
Two roads diverged, but this is no yellow wood.
I've looked down both as far as I could.
The darkness is foreboding and so I stay put.
I feel the ground shaking, collapsing underfoot.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Food for Thought
Something interesting that has crossed my mind today, and is now the source of one of the lesser (albeit probably most important) quandaries that currently plagues my consciousness:
Christianity professes that there is one God who is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Christianity says that it is our choice to follow Him or not to follow Him. To not follow Him is operating outside of His will, and walking in sin.
All of this, I have been taught and lead to believe and accept through all of my life. Now, here's the killer:
Given the existence of an omniscient and omnipotent being in the universe (be it God or otherwise) how can we be sure that any choice we make is truly our own? How can we be sure that any thought we have comes from our own head?
So, first we are asked to choose to believe that there is a God who has created, and can control the entire universe. But to choose to believe that, we also have to believe it possible that the choice was never really ours to make in the first place.
Yes, the truth is the same whether we believe it or not, but the question remains whether our belief or disbelief is truly an option? Even as I write this, I cannot be sure - believing in an all-knowing, all-powerful God - that these words are actually of my own composure.
In the end of course, it all comes down to faith. But faith rests upon belief, and when one's belief is shaken like this, where does their faith have to stand?
Christianity professes that there is one God who is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Christianity says that it is our choice to follow Him or not to follow Him. To not follow Him is operating outside of His will, and walking in sin.
All of this, I have been taught and lead to believe and accept through all of my life. Now, here's the killer:
Given the existence of an omniscient and omnipotent being in the universe (be it God or otherwise) how can we be sure that any choice we make is truly our own? How can we be sure that any thought we have comes from our own head?
So, first we are asked to choose to believe that there is a God who has created, and can control the entire universe. But to choose to believe that, we also have to believe it possible that the choice was never really ours to make in the first place.
Yes, the truth is the same whether we believe it or not, but the question remains whether our belief or disbelief is truly an option? Even as I write this, I cannot be sure - believing in an all-knowing, all-powerful God - that these words are actually of my own composure.
In the end of course, it all comes down to faith. But faith rests upon belief, and when one's belief is shaken like this, where does their faith have to stand?
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Breaking Point
I don't want to be here.
Why have I come here?
What draws me to this place?
The world is spinning around me.
I feel like I'm standing still.
I just want to let go.
And run!
To run, and be free.
To run, and be me.
To find who I am,
And come back a whole man.
What has brought me here?
Why can't I leave?
What is keeping me here?
Why can't I breathe?
To wish for freedom,
A man first finds himself bound.
What if that freedom is wrong?
An answer cannot be found.
I just want...
To run, and be free.
To run, and be me.
To find who I am,
And come back a whole man.
I stand at the edge.
On the other side is broken.
Which way will I break?
Has the answer already been spoken?
Do I have a choice?
Can true freedom be found
In this bondage I wish to break?
Or will I just break down?
I still feel the need...
To run, and be free.
To run, and be me.
To find who I am,
And come back a whole man.
Devil, get away from me!
Jesus' blood is over me!
Holy Spirit comfort me!
God, come down and guide me...
To run, and be free.
To run, and be me.
To find who I am,
And come back a whole man.
- Iszi
Friday, December 08, 2006
Worship Conspiracy - Disciple
Another great song from Disciple. They get their point across, and don't seem to care who they offend meanwhile. Seriously, how does our worship measure up to those of other religions? Even the least-practicing members of many other major world religions leave the average Christian in the dust when it comes to worshipping their God.
Who are we, believers in the one true, most high God - believers in the only god who has laid down the life of His son for all mankind - to be ranked among the most apathetic worshippers of all religions? Even being a guilty party myself, I find the thought obscenely appalling.
Worship Conspiracy - Disciple
Who are we, believers in the one true, most high God - believers in the only god who has laid down the life of His son for all mankind - to be ranked among the most apathetic worshippers of all religions? Even being a guilty party myself, I find the thought obscenely appalling.
Worship Conspiracy - Disciple
They ride all around town,
Get me to believe what they found.
They knock on my door,
Saying Jesus is not the Lord.
Pray to Buddha every day,
Put us to shame in every way.
Muslim fasting forty days,
We can't lift our hands in praise?
God deserves more
Than what we're giving Him!
They bow to a piece of wood,
But it won't do them any good.
Meditate on false light,
While we sit and watch the day go by.
Observe all traditions,
While we sleep late on Easter morning.
They fall on their face,
While we just abound in grace.
Pray to Buddha every day,
Put us to shame in every way.
Muslim fasting forty days,
We can't lift our hands in praise?
God deserves more
Than what we're giving Him.
God deserves more
Than what we're giving Him!
Worthy!
Every knee will bow, tongue confess
That Jesus is the Lord.
Worthy!
Every knee will bow, tongue confess
That Jesus is the Lord!
Pray to Buddha every day,
Put us to shame in every way.
Muslim fasting forty days,
We can't lift our hands in praise?
God deserves more
Than what we're giving Him.
God deserves more
Than what we're giving Him!
Worthy!
Every knee will bow, tongue confess
That Jesus is the Lord.
Worthy!
Every knee will bow, tongue confess
That Jesus is the Lord!
Worthy!
Every knee will bow, tongue confess
That Jesus is the son of God.
Worthy!
Every knee will bow, tongue confess
That Jesus is the Lord!
Unfinished Thoughts
Talk about irony. I tried starting this post yesterday, and ended up closing the window later on in the day when I was doing something else, before I published it. *sigh*
So, I've got a few posts sitting in my blog that are invisible to everyone but me because they are not complete. They are my "Drafts". These are posts that I started typing at some point or another, and never really finished. I either ran out of time to finish typing them, or ran out of energy to type with and saved them thinking "I'll come back to this later".
Probably more numerous are the posts that actually were published, but really never completed. They end in something like "More on this later" or something otherwise representing a free flow of thought coming to an abrupt halt. Again, I had a good thing going with a strong train of thought running out into cyberspace here and either ran out of time, or got otherwise distracted, and had to wrap it up much more quickly than I'd intended.
Even worse are the thoughts that never made it on here at all. Something that I think about during the day triggers my mind to say "I should blog about that!" but I'm either too busy or too distracted to do it then, and never get around to doing it later. There's so many subjects that I probably would have loved to delve into that never got explored because they ended up like this.
All of this is starting to really frustrate me. What's worse is that I often find I've lost the particular spark I once had for a subject, when I try to come back to complete it. The idea was good, and the subject very much interesting, but I just can't seem to remember clearly enough where I was going with it or why to be able to finish it off.
Such is a graveyard of dreams. Ideas begun, but never finished. Optimistically, I'd like to say I'll get to them some day - in fact, I've promised a few people I would on some - but realistically I doubt it. I really hope I do though. It's been awhile since I've allowed my mind a chance to do some serious wandering on a subject, and I really do enjoy the times that it wanders.
I will say one of the more interesting - and potentially dangerous - things on my list of "Wanderings To Do" is the plot behind the movie "The Da Vinci Code", which I recently saw on DVD. First, I'll try to wrap up what loose ends I already have though.
- Iszi
So, I've got a few posts sitting in my blog that are invisible to everyone but me because they are not complete. They are my "Drafts". These are posts that I started typing at some point or another, and never really finished. I either ran out of time to finish typing them, or ran out of energy to type with and saved them thinking "I'll come back to this later".
Probably more numerous are the posts that actually were published, but really never completed. They end in something like "More on this later" or something otherwise representing a free flow of thought coming to an abrupt halt. Again, I had a good thing going with a strong train of thought running out into cyberspace here and either ran out of time, or got otherwise distracted, and had to wrap it up much more quickly than I'd intended.
Even worse are the thoughts that never made it on here at all. Something that I think about during the day triggers my mind to say "I should blog about that!" but I'm either too busy or too distracted to do it then, and never get around to doing it later. There's so many subjects that I probably would have loved to delve into that never got explored because they ended up like this.
All of this is starting to really frustrate me. What's worse is that I often find I've lost the particular spark I once had for a subject, when I try to come back to complete it. The idea was good, and the subject very much interesting, but I just can't seem to remember clearly enough where I was going with it or why to be able to finish it off.
Such is a graveyard of dreams. Ideas begun, but never finished. Optimistically, I'd like to say I'll get to them some day - in fact, I've promised a few people I would on some - but realistically I doubt it. I really hope I do though. It's been awhile since I've allowed my mind a chance to do some serious wandering on a subject, and I really do enjoy the times that it wanders.
I will say one of the more interesting - and potentially dangerous - things on my list of "Wanderings To Do" is the plot behind the movie "The Da Vinci Code", which I recently saw on DVD. First, I'll try to wrap up what loose ends I already have though.
- Iszi
Thursday, December 07, 2006
I Just Know - Disciple
I've recently started listening to a Christian metal band called "Disciple". Their songs carry strong messages with an up-in-your-face attitude, which a lot of Christians and non-Christians alike should take heed to listen to. Below is one of my current favorites:
I Just Know - Disciple
I Just Know - Disciple
I just know Jesus is the way,
I just know Jesus is the truth,
I just know Jesus is the life,
I just know Jesus is my God!
What makes you different from one another?
Why do you argue about who you follow?
There is no man that you belong to.
There's only one God that can claim you.
I don't care if you can speak in tongues.
I don't care if you're into submersion.
What does it matter if wear a liturgical robe,
Or prophesy and say God said so?
I just know Jesus is the way,
I just know Jesus is the truth,
I just know Jesus is the life,
I know that Jesus is my God!
I know that Jesus is the way,
I know that Jesus is the truth,
I know that Jesus is the life,
I know that Jesus is my God!
Do you serve your name, or do you serve mankind?
Would you feel the same if they took down your sign?
Could you sit next to me if I was Baptist or Presbyterian,
Or do I need to be a charismatic or Episcopalian?
I don't care if you drink grape juice or if it's wine,
And I don't care if you get out of church on time.
What does it matter if you praise God with music in your church,
Or you burn your dead or bury them six feet in the dirt?
I just know Jesus is the way,
I just know Jesus is the truth,
I just know Jesus is the life,
I just know Jesus is my God!
I know that Jesus is the way,
I know that Jesus is the truth,
I know that Jesus is the life,
I know that Jesus is my God!
I don't care if you clap your hands.
I don't care if you get out in the aisle and dance.
What's it matter if someone lets out a hallelujah shout?
Have we forgotten what praising Yahweh is all about?
I just know Jesus is the way,
I just know Jesus is the truth,
I just know Jesus is the life,
I know that Jesus is my God!
I know that Jesus is the way,
I know that Jesus is the truth,
I know that Jesus is the life,
I know that Jesus is my God!
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