Wild At Heart

Greetings, Readers.

I feel I am beginning to rediscover myself recently. Or, to be more accurate, I am truly discovering myself for the first time. I knew something has felt a little different inside me this past month, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it until yesterday. All I knew is it felt good, and I didn't want it to stop.

This past month, my brother has been down from New York where he serves in the Marines. It was the first time I'd seen him in about 2 years. He stayed for a greater part of June, including both our birthdays (it was his 21st). In that time, he reunited with a good number of his high school friends, and let me tag along for the ride. I've probably "gotten out" more in the past month than I have in my entire (socially reclusive) life, and it has been the best time that I've had!

Add to that the freedom gained by my wife and daughter (both of whom I do still miss very much) vacationing with the in-laws in Illinois, and I have found myself disturbed by how truly chained down I had let myself be for the greater part of my life. (Even before marraige.)

I must disclaimer this by saying I in no way intend this to be taken as me trying to blame my fatherhood or husbandhood (is that a word?) for holding me back from who I am. To the contrary, it has been myself who has done most of the holding back.

I did not realize what this feeling really was until I picked up a book this Sunday from church, which is beginning to rock my world, and totally upturn my perception of myself as a man. The book is called Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge (http://www.ransomedheart.com/). I have only made it through the first chapter and half of the second so far, but it has already had a significant impact on who I believe I am and should be.

It describes how society today, and especially Christian society, has chained down and buried the rugged, adventurous, and aggressive masculine heart that resides in every man. It explains how these parts of a man's personality are integral to their masculinity and placed their by God's design. In short, John explains that it is only natural and healthy for every man to desire and pursue "A Battle to fight. An Adventure to live. A Beauty to rescue.".

The book isn't just for men, either. It is also meant to be a guide to offer insight for women to see why it is that "Boys will be boys" or, as it should be said, "Men should be men". Again, I have only barely scratched the surface of this book myself, but I can tell you so far that it definitely appears to be worthy of the "Books every Man must read" list, if there is one.

I should stop rambling on, especially since I am at work (although it's extremely slow here, since most everyone else isn't here, as we're off tomorrow anyway). I just felt I needed to get this out here. I definitely feel an incredible journey is ahead of me, on my road to self-discovery.

- Iszi