Nike

Change can be a bitch.

Not so long ago, I was enjoying my new position and actually getting a chance to breathe during my days at work while things seemed to be so much simplified. That didn't last long. A few weeks ago, the person who trained me for this new position left the company. That left me being the only person around who fully knew how to do (and was assigned to do) the job that I have just recently learned.

Normally, I would consider this an intriguing challenge. Okay, maybe intriguing isn't quite exactly the word, but it is 1 AM right now. What makes this different however is that, while this job can be theoretically run by one person, the workload dictates a need for two - or at least one full-time and one part-time person. Unfortunately, that's not happening quite soon enough.

The good news is, backup is coming in a couple weeks (or so I'm told). The bad news is, backup is still a couple weeks away. My managers have told me time and again to let them know when I think I'm in too deep. They say they'll understand, given the nature of the job. While that may be, I am reluctant to call on them because I really don't know what can be done to help things. There's not much that I do that anyone else fully has knowledge, access, or time to help with.

I keep thinking that if I can just have one day where I can focus hard and shove my nose to the grindstone, I can knock out most of the backlog that's been built up. Then the phone rings. Or another e-mail comes. Or someone sends an IM. There's always something demanding my immediate attention away from tasks at hand.

Of course, this recent head case that I've developed hasn't helped anything. Any time I have had without phone calls or attention-demanding e-mails or IMs, has been occupied by the wanderings of my mind as it tries to decipher itself and its current quandary. I will say it's gotten better lately. Particularly this week, I've had an overall better time focusing on work than I have in the past couple weeks. Then again, that may be out of pure necessity, since I've come to fully realize and recognize the magnitude of the task at hand in my workplace.

In any case, I worry that it is all too little too late. Yes, I've regained focus. But now, the period of lacking has set me much further behind than I should ever have fallen. And still, there are the times where I need to just put my head down and crank up the music to drown out the noise in my head.

I can do this. It can be done. I know I can, and I know it can be. Now if I could just get it done!

Just do it!